He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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