Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
