Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
