I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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