My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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