I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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