Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize