I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
How external is "for external use only"?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
