It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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