dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
