Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
