you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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