I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
