i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
