When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
