we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
