that's an acceptable place to lick
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
