Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
