sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
