In the future we'll all be gay
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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