i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
