He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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