At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
