haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
