yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
