God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
