your thong is hanging out like whoa
I am spending my child support on dildos
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
