We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You've changed since you got that strap on
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
