your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
