Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
