i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
