im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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