cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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