sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
