you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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