Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
