rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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