Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
