So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
