This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
