you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
