I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
