I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she told me i tasted like america
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize