The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize