It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize