You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize