oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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