Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
