It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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