The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
