we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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