id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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