Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
