:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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