just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
