i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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