I want to have your abortion
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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