your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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