I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
everyone is single if you try hard enough
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
