Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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